Forigveth thine self

oh blog,
I'm so sorry
I haven't posted on you for over 2 weeks, and I feel horrible about it. I guess that perhaps I should make a diet for slackers, call it "the How to Become a Lazy Ass Person Like Me Diet"Shall I start it now?
Roll call!
1. Being lazy can also transmit to being fat, so as a lazy ass person the first rule of thumb is to have too little energy to go and get your own food. Limit movements for food to 3 times a day (in a span of 24 hours)
2. Avoid excersize at all costs. Fitness is the garlic to laziness' vampire. Even if you feel the need to strech your legs and excersize, supress the urge, watch a workout infomercial instead.
3. Keep your phone by you. You'll need it for when you call in "sick" to work, tell your mother you can't make it to Shabbat dinner or change the night's pland from the club downtown to your increasingly messy flat.
4. Make sure not to drink too many liquids. The daily limit should be between 2-3 glasses of drinks at most. I like to divide this into a morning coffee, a mid-day can of Diet Coke and a nightly glass of wine.
5. Buy as many television show series as you can get your hands on. There's no better incentive to sit in the same place for 24 hours than with a gripping television series.
6. In preparation for this diet, head to your local health food store and buy one or 2 packs of multivitamins (NOT Centrum, that's for old people). Since you will end up eating take out or Lean Cuisine, a multivitamin will keep you on track with the daily recommended vitamins and minerals, or whatever
7.There's really not much more to say, I'm too lazy to write the rest...

Goodnight y'all!